Catatan Hati

ASS, Telah ku tinggalkan cemburu di sudut kamar gelap. Telah ku hanyutkan duka pada sungai kecil yang mengalir dari mataku. Telah ku kabarkan lewat angin gerimis tentang catatan hati yang terhampar di tiap jengkal sajadah.

*Disini masih mengagumimu, sejak dulu. Meski engkau telah direbut org. Takkan berkurang rasa itu buatmu.

*Disini turut bahagia melihatmu bahagia.


*) Hati

My Family is My Life.

Aku - Kakak - Adik - Mama - Bapak

Family is the smallest unit of the society. A good or bad person can be build up with the actions of the family. Generally the family means parents and children. In the modern world, most of the families have only three members including mother, father and son/daughter.

Foundation of a person is his or her family. It teaches us good qualities such as kindness, sharing, caring, and patience and develops our attitudes. Our parents are the first masters of our lives. So they are known as "Brahma". They teach us how to eat, how to write, how to behave and how to build up good relationships with others. Our family is the best friend of our lives. When we have won something it appreciates us, when we have failed it encourages us, when we are ill it helps us, when we have enemies it protects us. So family is like our shadow.

But unfortunately in the modern world this family has been shifted away. Now the society is running towards money. So good qualities, team spirit, family bond has marketed now. According to the industrialization each and everything has a value now. But can we assume a value for the bond between family members? Where is the family that I am searching for? What happened to it? Is it a dream or a thing in the past? No one answer these questions, because no one knows about the real value of a family and family bond.

It is possible that the whole world will be your enemy one day, but your family is with you forever.

My Family

My Family 

Have you ever been influenced by some important person that helped you be the person that you are today? I have been. The people that have had influence on me are the most important humans beings, my family. 

  I could begin the book of my life with a picture of my parents. They are important because they helped in my development. Also, they gave me the things that I needed to grow up in the moment that I needed and they still gave me everything that I needed to become somebody in the future. Among these things is the education that I have received all in my life, my basic needs like food, clothes, medicine, a place to live, and the most important thing, the love. Like for example, by being there when I needed somebody to talk to and giving me speeches when I do something wrong. Also, they care for me when I am sick and they give me the necessary things to get better. They teach me good values like how to behave, to respect other people, and to share with other people. Sometimes they push me in certain directions and have high expectations for me, but now I really appreciate everything they have taught me. I understand why they do certain things and it is because my parents want the best for me. On certain occasions I get mad, but later appreciate their words of wisdom and understand. My parents are wonderful.

  Now, about the rest of my family, my one sister and one brother, all I can say is that they are wonderful, too. With them I have learned to share, to have fun, and to understand different points of view in different situations. 

Thanks to my family today I can said all of these things to other people. 

I do not know who I am, where I am going - and I am the one who has to decide the answers to these hideous questions. ~Sylvia Plath

"Who are you? Could you describe yourself?" I often got that question in every interview. A question that sounds like as simple as "what is the color of the ocean?" Just like the ocean question you might answer it fast BLUE! Dah'... but is it really blue? are you sure? isn't it more like green? ... Do you know that the ocean appear to be blue because this is the color our eyes see?  But actually the ocean can be many other colors depending upon particles in the water, the depth of the water, and the amount of skylight also blue wavelengths are absorbed the least by the deep ocean water and are scattered and reflected back to the observer’s eye. Not so simple anymore right? just like "who are you?" question. I might answer I'm a cheerful, shy, witty or even mad person but isn't people eyes different with mine? they see the blue, but I am the particles inside... I could go rambling who I am as a person but people see what they see. The simplest way I can answer I am who I am, I couldn't get more correct answer than that.

So who are you? Who am I? anyone knows how to answer it?  Or could anybody help me giving me formula how to answer that correctly, so I won't sound so obnoxious every time I tried to describe myself. Or probably you could help? some of you knows me for more than 4 years, so I believe you'll be a great judge. 

“I know pretty much what I like and dislike but please, don't ask me who I am.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

Oh my, I forgot to say Hello... Hello people how are you? do life treat you well? I hope they do... Well if you asking... I'm not in my best shape right now, losing some weight and tired both emotionally and physically... and yes you can blame it on the crazy exams they probably drained all my energy and sucked all my mood. Thank God it's over. About the result, oh well... please please do pray for me... I need many prayers from all of you, hehehe.

Talking about who I am, there's one thing that I quite sure I am and that is that I love to be lost in my own imagination... I just love to wander off, go to my happy place. A place only me can visit...  where I can be anything I want. Where I could be a princess, a fairy, or even a witch... and each of them have their own complicated stories that I hesitate to share.  I once asked what do you do when you running out of ideas or imagination? and I answered, I have no idea what I would do, because so far my head is full with tons of ideas and imagination and I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm about explode anytime soon, trust me maybe running out idea is a bad thing but having too many is also frustrating.

And in between my crazy schedule because all exams that sucked all my happy mood I manage to make a photo shoot. And this time is not a fashion post like always, but this time I let you see a hint of my head, what I do when I'm wander off. But of course this is just a super tiny hint of what goes inside my head and I can assure you everything 100 hundred times more beautiful in my head.  Ah we human... it's always our own limitation who tormented us.

Will leave you with many words from one of my favorite poet, Sylvia Plath.

Have a good day everyone... see you soon...

“Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little? 

For all my despair, for all my ideals, for all that - I love life.

 But it is hard, and I have so much - so very much to learn.”
― Sylvia Plath

Mimpiku sederhana...

mimpiku sederhana » jadi wirausahawan muda yg sukses n sejahtera, punya gerai oleh2 khas kota kelahran, punya yayasan pndidkn islami, puny usaha pengrhman brang antar pulau, bisa tnggal d kota kelhran dg isteri dan anak2 tercinta dg samara sambil ngurus ortu, menjajal kota2 eksotis d indonesia, makkah n madinah jg kota2 d eropa khususny venesia. Dll dll. Bnyak y? Dasar manusia :D

Bahwa Hidup Harus Menerima, Mengerti dan Memahami....

“Daun yang jatuh tak pernah membenci angin, dia membiarkan dirinya jatuh begitu saja. Tak melawan, mengikhlaskan semuanya. Bahwa hidup harus menerima, penerimaan yang indah. Bahwa hidup harus mengerti, pengertian yang benar. Bahwa hidup harus memahami, pemahaman yang tulus. Tak peduli lewat apa penerimaan, pengertian, pemahaman itu datang. Tak masalah meski lewat kejadian yang sedih dan menyakitkan. Biarkan dia jatuh sebagaimana mestinya. Biarkan angin merengkuhnya, membawa pergi entah kemana.”

— Tere liye, novel "Daun yang jatuh tak pernah membenci angin"

 

Menyambut Temilnas XII Solo

Menyambut Temilnas XII Solo

SEMANGAT KAMEL....!!! GANBATTE... mm GANBATTE!!! :D :D

Aku Mau Ini Itu,, Tentu Harus bisa Ini Itu juga... :)

Hmm,, ya aku mau ini itu.. aku mau ke Jepang, aku mau lanjut studi, aku mau mengerti banyak bahasa negara, aku mau keliling dunia, ya aku mau ini itu... tentunya aku juga harus bisa ini itu. Bisa bahasa Jepang, bisa dpt beasiswa S2, bs menguasai bahasa, bisa ini itu....
Jd aku harus banyak belajar, banyak membaca, banyak memahami dan banyak bergaul...
Moga ALLAH sllu di sampingku mengiringi setiap langkahku...
Amin... :)

SEMANGAT KAMEL....!!! GANBATTE... mm GANBATTE!!! :D :D

Mother...

Hai, Mama, wahai Mama, bagaimana kabarmu?
Maaf aku tidak menghubungimu akhir-akhir ini
Aku baik-baik saja

Tubuhmu kecil begitu juga tanganmu
Rambut-rambut putih bercampur dan engkau tumbuh semakin ramah
Tapi bagiku kau masih lebih besar dari apapun, lebih kuat dari siapapun
Aku ingin menceritakan pada anak-anakku tentang cinta yang mendukungku ini

Walapupun aku tumbuh dalam ketidaksabaran ketika aku didekatmu
Ketika kau jauh dariku, aku tumbuh dalam kesepian
Itulah siapa dirimu bagiku

Kau dapat menghentikan masalah apapun dan mengatasinya
Dan kau memiliki kesabaran dan ketangguhan yang begitu besar
Dibanding siapapun yang ku kenal
Kau akan selalu memikirkan kebahagiaanku sebelum kebahagiaanmu sendiri

Memasak, mencuci, bersih-bersih, membesarkan anak
Kau bahkan bekerja selama waktu senggangmu
Kau hanya akan membeli barang yang ada di rak dengan harga paling murah
Aku tidak mengerti meskipun hal itu sangat jelas
Hingga aku mulai hidup mandiri, baru aku mengerti
Kapanpun aku memikirkan berapa banyak yang kau capai
Dan mungkin betapa sulitnya itu
Ku rasa aku bisa mencoba yang terbaik hari ini


Pada saat itu aku menyalahkan diriku,
Bertanya-tanya, “Kenapa aku bisa menjadi begitu bodoh?”

Ku berikan padamu rasa terima kasih untuk cinta yang selalu melindungiku ini,
Ibuku

Aku tahu tak ada hal yang paling menyedihkan
Daripada orangtua yang mengubur anaknya hidup-hidup
Jadi aku akan memastikan hal itu tidak akan terjadi
Bahkan jika aku cuma hidup satu detik lebih lama darimu
Aku akan memastikan hal itu

Aku bersyukur aku adalah anakmu
Aku bersyukur kau adalah ibuku
Dan itu tidak akan pernah berubah
Itu tidak akan pernah berubah untuk selamanya
Karena aku begitu mirip denganmu

Jadilah ibuku untuk selamanya
Jadilah sehat untuk selamanya
Kau masih punya satu pekerjaan lagi yang tersisa untuk dikerjakan
Dan itu adalah menerima cinta dan rasa hormat anakmu
Untukmu…